happy birthday, blog.

this blog post is hard to write.

not that the milestone of a year of being a blogger is difficult or emotional, but rather the reflection of the last year and all that has happened since may 31st, 2010.

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three hundred and sixty five days ago, i finalized my move to europe by purchasing my one way ticket from san francisco, california to dusseldorf, germany. i was excited, i was scared, i was happy. this morning though, i'm having a hard time emotionally thinking about the significance  of what happened this day, one year ago.

i leave dusseldorf, germany in a mere twenty five days. i have tears in my eyes as i type that sentence. to try and put into words what the last year has meant to me and done to me, and how it has changed my life completely, would be a difficult task, and i will do that one day soon, but not today. because as of today i still have those mere twenty five days. days i will spend with the most amazing family who has taken me into their lives with love, days i will spend with the three boys that make my days exciting, challenging, humorous, and most importantly, full. days spent with friends that i'm not exactly sure how i will leave without being a complete basket case.

the bitter sweetness of what is to come is creeping up ever so slowly. when i think about it too much i can feel the wave of anxiety rush over me , the flash backs of standing in the middle of the san francisco international terminal alone, scared, and in tears, come flooding back. i'm reminded that change is inevitable, if not terrifying. life moves on, we must grow from experiences. take what we've learned and apply it to the next chapter of our lives. lives that always seem to rush by way too fast. 

but, like i said, that post is for another day. another international airport terminal, another set of tears, another wave of anxiety about the unknown. 

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so, i'll leave you with this:

to all of your readers, well the twenty nine of you, that have been here the whole time or have just now joined the party that is my life, thank you. thank you for supporting me, loving me, and motivating me to capture every day moments, small or large, with photos and words. 

i'm so grateful for this past year, and also for the internet...so you could all have the pleasure of stalking me at your leisure.

[see what i did there? i tried to make light of a deeply emotional post...did it work?]

and, well, since i feel incomplete without posting photos, here is a preview of the past week and weekend with kendall here and our adventures:

obviously, i'm super hot.

clearly, it was exciting.

oh p.s. don't attempt to apply make-up whilst tipsy.

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did i use "whilst" correctly? 

whatever, i like it.