happy birthday, blog.

this blog post is hard to write.

not that the milestone of a year of being a blogger is difficult or emotional, but rather the reflection of the last year and all that has happened since may 31st, 2010.

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three hundred and sixty five days ago, i finalized my move to europe by purchasing my one way ticket from san francisco, california to dusseldorf, germany. i was excited, i was scared, i was happy. this morning though, i'm having a hard time emotionally thinking about the significance  of what happened this day, one year ago.

i leave dusseldorf, germany in a mere twenty five days. i have tears in my eyes as i type that sentence. to try and put into words what the last year has meant to me and done to me, and how it has changed my life completely, would be a difficult task, and i will do that one day soon, but not today. because as of today i still have those mere twenty five days. days i will spend with the most amazing family who has taken me into their lives with love, days i will spend with the three boys that make my days exciting, challenging, humorous, and most importantly, full. days spent with friends that i'm not exactly sure how i will leave without being a complete basket case.

the bitter sweetness of what is to come is creeping up ever so slowly. when i think about it too much i can feel the wave of anxiety rush over me , the flash backs of standing in the middle of the san francisco international terminal alone, scared, and in tears, come flooding back. i'm reminded that change is inevitable, if not terrifying. life moves on, we must grow from experiences. take what we've learned and apply it to the next chapter of our lives. lives that always seem to rush by way too fast. 

but, like i said, that post is for another day. another international airport terminal, another set of tears, another wave of anxiety about the unknown. 

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so, i'll leave you with this:

to all of your readers, well the twenty nine of you, that have been here the whole time or have just now joined the party that is my life, thank you. thank you for supporting me, loving me, and motivating me to capture every day moments, small or large, with photos and words. 

i'm so grateful for this past year, and also for the internet...so you could all have the pleasure of stalking me at your leisure.

[see what i did there? i tried to make light of a deeply emotional post...did it work?]

and, well, since i feel incomplete without posting photos, here is a preview of the past week and weekend with kendall here and our adventures:

obviously, i'm super hot.

clearly, it was exciting.

oh p.s. don't attempt to apply make-up whilst tipsy.

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did i use "whilst" correctly? 

whatever, i like it.

oh, hello.

oh hi blog friends.

i'm alive.

just been here with the bestie, kendall, in germany.

i picked her up from the airport on saturday, then did something any good friend would do:

loaded her into the back of a van and headed to the maiwoche for day drinking.

 i know, i know, i rock.

anyway, we are fine, having a blast. 

and headed to amsterdam tomorrow! 

my favorite place...so stay tuned.

prettiness.

p.s- thanks mama for the fab cam. everyone...it's navy blue!

maiwoche

this is going to be a super quick post because i have a massive migraine and want to sleep somewhere dark and cold.

wasn't that a lovely intro?

i thought so...

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maiwoche, or may week, is taking place right now in osnabruck, and last weekend my friend sylvia and i went downtown to meander through the festivities.

 funky, handmade treasures.

always exciting to browse the stalls of trinkets.

i chose to edit all of these photos with a vintage feel.

i love vintage carnivals.

and i love that my iphone took all of these pictures.

i'm convinced this guy was america.

 no german would wear the adidas, cargo shorts, and leather loafers combo

...maybe they would, but i haven't seen it. 

my most favorite picture.

the church, the stripes, the carousel, all wonderfully mixed together.

the may pole :)

in the old town city center.

 more bunting, maypole, churchiness.

lovely.

my choco-strawbs were super delicious.

and we went by scooter!

i was afraid at first, but now i've seen the light.

must. purchase. vintage, vespa.

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again, sorry for any typos and general lack of quicky-ness.

i feel like my brain is pulsating against my skull.

too much?

sorry.

but it's the life of a person with migraines,

'holla if you feel like you been down the same road.'

yes i quoted eminem, i'm so weird...mmmkkkay, bye.

a day in the life.

here's a little looksy into life at the moment.

just some local happenings, why being an au pair rocks, etc.

 hipstamatic makes the bus ride from kindergarten to home look so cool.

don't i look so awesome in my mirror pic?

pshhh, you know i do. messy hair and a hoodies are so fetch.

being an au pair rocks becasue you get to play with kid toys and no one judges you.

well, they might if you were just playing by yourself...regardless, i've gotten really good at lego architecture.

cajus tried to slam his hand down on this one, and it barely budged...rock on.

in these blurry iphone photos you can see two things:

1. alcohol so colorful even i would be afraid to drink it. look at the blue...

and,

2. buy a backpack and get two beers in the pockets for only 7 euros! what a steal!

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this is what my life looks like at the moment:

1. clear, warm skies at 8:00 in the evening

2. crafts...love crafts

3. a little boy zooming through the house on his little bike

4. me showing off my new satchel from h&m. i am obsessed. it's the perfect size. that green belt is new too. from h&m...they should sponsor my life...just sayin' homie.

5. kendall will be in osnabruck in FOUR days. and yes i wrote up a tentative plan on what we'll be doing...aren't i the greatest (sarcasm) but seriously, it's for planning our mini trip to amsterdam, can't wait!

6. hilarious sticker books with the little.

7. trying so hard not to laugh...

8. holy mother of all that is adorable, will you LOOK at the cuteness!

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peace out, internetters 

xoxo,

hay.

colors of amsterdam

back in december, i experienced amsterdam for the first time.

i set off, alone, by train to meet up with my mom, uncle, and two family friends for a few days together before christmas. i posted photos of those days here.

but totally forgot about the days after christmas, when it was just mi mama y yo in amsterdam, before she flew back home.

so, only a few months late...i give you...more amsterdam!

how tasty does that cake look?

and i love how spring and summer-ish it is, you barely noticed the christmas ornaments behind it.

amsterdam is known for it's beautiful flowers-even in the winter!

and the tiled art is, and was, gorgeous in the city center.

some scenes from the outdoor market place.

beautiful art + architecture...two of my favorite things :)

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and these buddhas are my favorite. 

i wish i could have bought one/some to take home with me...not sure if it would fit in my luggage though :(

amsterdam is a wonderful city.

it's become one of my favorites for sure, and i tell everyone that when they ask.

i think a lot of people associate it only with drugs, and sex...but there is so much more history, culture, and art there. it's a city i wish everyone could experience.

stay tuned in a few weeks for amsterdam in the spring time. i'm headed there next week with kendall when she arrives!

revisiting italy...part one

once upon a time i had a tab for my trip to italy.

then, one day, i was like, 

'oh hey, i'm leaving germany soon and this blog will transfer from being an au pair/travel blog, to a lifestyle blog...i want to change up the tabs.'

well, probably not.

in my mind i probably said, 'let's switch it up.'

so i got ready to make the switcheroo, copied the page html code, and made it into a normal post. with more detailed descriptions about all the places i saw.

thennnn, bloggerapocolypse happened and i, of course, lost the damn post.

so anyway, here is the original italy page of photos.

these are all from our family trip in october.

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cajus and his baby yoga

driving through switzerland

bff photoshoot

our first house in pistoia

montecatini

stayed tuned for more later...once i find all the freakin pics...again.

also, tech question for anyone that knows how to do this since i'm ridiculously inept at doing anything on the computer...

how do i make it so that when someone clicks on a tab labeled, "X"...all posts on the blog with "X" tabs, are shown there? 

GRACIAS!

xxoo

lemme see your peacock.

1. i get that song stuck in my head when i look at this photo from sunday:

2. i love katy perry + russell brand. so if they ever read this and they are thinking about have babies and need a nanny...i'm your gal. i love babies. and katy perry.

anyway, sunday.

mother's day, of course.

here in germany we went with the family + the oma's and opa's to an asparagus buffet at an old farm, turned garden shop and restaurant. the food was to die for. if you know me well, you know i am obsessed with my veggies. i think if i could live on one thing forever it would be veggies.

i have no photos of the food due to the fact that we ate like ravenous beasts.

just kidding...about the beast part. 

there was asparagus soup, eggs, and salads. asparagus wrapped in bacon-yum! asparagus and chicken, fish, beef, you name it. also, a medley of yummy veggies. cauliflower, asparagus, artichoke, green beans, mushrooms, carrots, broccoli...

is it weird that i'm this into food?

i didn't think so.

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after brunch we walked around the farm.

they had a fantastic play area for the ninos and lots of pretty flowers.

...and a cool old car!

hope your weekend was just as lovely.

ciao, hay

word to yo motha

 i kind of went picnik crazy with the above banner. but i can't help it, i love when they get new designs.

anywho.

mothers day shout out.

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dear mama,

happy mother's day. you are the best, really.

i think it may be because i've been out of the house for almost ten months now...but whatever the reason, i am coming to appreciate you (and dad, and tap, and kate) a lot more. you have always been there for me no matter what. have always given me, and alex and tucker, all of your love, support, and understanding. even at times when we didn't deserve it. can anyone say 'junior year of high school'?!

you aren't just my mom, but also my friend. 

we get stoked about meeting justin timberlake, shop together, craft, gossip about celebrity baby names, watch HGTV, cry, and laugh so hard until we cry and or pee in our pants together.

just kidding about the last one...maybe.

you were there for me when i fell and skid across the asphalt, busting my chin open in second grade.

you were also there when alex dropped the magnum flashlight on my head, busting my forehead open in fourth grade...and while i had my head glued back together.

you were there when i cried over boys in highschool.

there when i was failing a class.

and most recently, you were there when i needed to be driven to the airport so i could fly halfway across the world to a place i didn't know, with people i'd never met.

you were always there, and you still always are.

you have showed me so much in this world and we have seen so much together. i'm so grateful for everything you have done and continue to do, despite any set backs life has given you, and ultimately, us.

i dream of one day being the mother you are, to my own littles.

 (i'd like to call this collage: the many haircolors of hayley...)

i love you mama.

i love that you were able to come visit and we went to amsterdam together.

i love our mother daughter bond, and really love that i don't have to share it with anyone else.

selfish? nope.

just an only daughter thing.

i love that you and i share a love for all things worldly, and i can't wait to do more traveling together.

let's do uruguay next!

i'm so lucky to call you my mom.

xoxo

love, hayley elizabeth.

this is from one of my favorite john mayer songs.

i made it pretty for all of the mamas out there.

if you want, feel free to take one for yourself.

it's original size from picnik is 2000x2000, but you can do it however you'd like.

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not only do i have the best mom ever, i'm lucky enough to have an amazing step mom as well.

there are a lot of people who can't say that,

lots of patchwork families that don't mesh well. but i really lucked out in the step parent department, and i know how lucky i am.

so also,

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, KATE!!!

you've been so great and loved alex, tucker, and myself as your own, and are a wonderful mom to jackson!

love, hayles

...pretty sure i spelled bolibaka wrong...SORRY DAD!

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happy mama's day to all of the beautiful mama's out there.

you guys freaking rock!

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if anyone needs an ecard for a mom in their life, here are some wonderful ideas:

perfect for step-mama's

 perfect for those who play favorites

 perfect for meghan and megan, 

mom's who love trashy tv as much as i do.

 perfect for mom's who are tired of paying for shit.

inappropriate, yet perfect for my mother who wouldn't want me to share the story on the interweb while it's so fresh...so i wont. 

'cuz i'm nice like that. and it's mother's day. but one day, MOM, i will tell the story of how my child ended up with the nickname snatch as a fetus...

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word to your mother.

xoxoxo, hay.